


the path of time, the sunsets up ahead roll along

by mechup



Series: without hope, without witness, without reward [7]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Multi, Other, in this house we love angst, the darillium era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-26 15:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21376234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechup/pseuds/mechup
Summary: Domestic bliss on Darillium is one of the happiest times in all of Missy’s lives, until it’s not.
Relationships: Missy/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/Missy, Twelfth Doctor/Missy/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Series: without hope, without witness, without reward [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974634
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	the path of time, the sunsets up ahead roll along

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by that scene in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina when Lilith is crying on the floor. thanks to Freya for allowing me to break her heart / helping me break my own heart when we were coming up with ideas for this sdjfnjsdfnjs
> 
> title from the song The Big Picture by Elton John

Domestic bliss on Darillium is one of the happiest times in all of Missy’s lives, until it’s not. 

She never would have imagined that she’d settle down with her best friend and his wife and actually enjoy it, but she can’t actually remember the last time she’s smiled this much. They’re so busy being happy that it’s so easy to get caught up in it all and forget that their time together is going to come to an end one day. Missy _ is _ appreciative, she hadn’t thought she’d even get to have this, but the illusion the three of them have constructed that this is going to last for eternity comes crashing down when she remembers they only have two more years out of the initial twenty-four together. 

It comes so suddenly, the reminder that they barely have any time left, that she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She immediately feels lightheaded and has to excuse herself from the room before she falls over, making her way to the bathroom and beelining to the sink to splash some water in her face. It doesn’t do anything to help and she stares at her reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out how she ever let herself get so attached.

She had always known River was going to die. She knew it was coming for almost the entire time she’s known her, but it had always been some distant, untouchable thing always out of their grasp. She wasn’t supposed to still be in her life this late in the game, but now it’s approaching and River is going to go into the library and never be seen again. Missy hadn’t thought this far ahead and now she has no idea what to do.

She glances down and sees the ring on her hand and in a fit of distress, she takes it off without thinking and throws it as far as she can. The sound it makes when it hits the wall echoes throughout the room before it’s silent again, and then her cheeks are getting wet before she even realizes the tears have begun falling. She takes a few steps back to stand against the wall and slides down until she’s on the floor, willing herself to calm down before one of the others come looking for her. She almost wishes that she never met River, if it means things wouldn’t end up hurting this much. Everything was so much _ easier _ before River and her pretty curls and her soft skin and her bright eyes infiltrated her life.

She pulls her legs to her chest and wraps her arms around her knees, resting her head on them. She doesn’t know how long she stays like that but the next thing she knows, there’s a knock on the door.

“Missy?” she hears, and she internally curses because it’s _ River_, the one person she doesn’t think she can handle seeing right now. “Missy, are you okay? You’ve been in there for... well, a while.”

She takes a moment to compose herself before responding, “I’m fine.” Her voice cracks when she speaks so all hopes of convincing River that she actually _ is _ fine go out the window. She can practically see the frown on River’s face and hopes she just leaves her be, instead of coming in to see what’s wrong. 

“Are you sure?” River asks, not waiting for a response before she turns the doorknob. “I’m coming in.”

“Said I was fine,” Missy mumbles, lifting her head to look at River. That move turns out to be a mistake because her eyes fill up with tears again and she has to look away before her hearts completely break. 

“What happened?” River asks, stepping into the room and sitting down next to her. “You seemed perfectly okay earlier.”

She reaches out to touch her arm in comfort and Missy almost flinches away but in one sudden movement, she pulls River as close as possible, burying her head in the spot between River’s neck and shoulder. She feels one of River’s hands rubbing her back as the other one soothingly strokes along her hair. She shakes her head, trying to get ahold of herself before River sees her in an even weaker state.

“Don’t,” she begins, meaning to say _ don’t leave me_, but she can’t seem to get the rest of the phrase out. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m here,” River promises and honestly, that makes it even worse. Because she knows that very soon, River _ won’t _ be here and instead of trying to make the best of the time they have left together, she’s crying in her arms. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

She’s soaking River’s top at this point, but she can’t bring herself to care. She clings to her as tightly as she can, finding it getting harder and harder to breathe. If any of her past regenerations — or even this regeneration, in her early days — could see her now, she’s certain they would _ hate _ her. Hell, even she hates her. River’s death is a fixed point, there is nothing she can do to change it, but here she is, a complete mess over it.

“I’m sorry,” Missy repeats. There’s so much she wants to say but _ spoilers _ is still a rule and River’s guessed what’s going to happen for the most part but Missy can’t bring herself to confirm or deny anything related to what comes after Darillium. She really should have known better than to get close to someone so perishable. 

“Missy, you need to tell me what’s wrong,” River urges. It’s scary, seeing Missy like this when she normally doesn’t let anyone at all see her with her guard down. She feels like she shouldn’t even be here when she’s like this, but there’s no way she’s going to leave her alone when she’s so fragile. She can feel Missy’s breathing get even quicker and she tries to calm her down by pressing soothing kisses to the top of her head and hold her even tighter, but nothing seems to be working. “I can’t help you unless I know what happened. Please tell me, darling, I don’t want you to continue hurting.”

“I can’t,” Missy says, shaking her head again. She briefly hears the door open and when she looks up, she sees the Doctor standing there with a concerned expression.

“She was like this when I came in,” she hears River explain. “I don’t know what’s wrong, she won’t say.”

The Doctor kneels down next to them and River goes to pull away but Missy makes a noise of protest, not wanting to let go of her for even a moment.

“No, don’t leave me,” she says, and the rawness of her voice makes both River and the Doctor pause. “Don’t go. Please.”

“It’s okay, she’s still here,” the Doctor says in an attempt to reassure her. “I just need you to let go so we can calm you down.”

She doesn’t make any attempt to let go of River so the Doctor tries to pull Missy off her, frowning at the sight before him. He thinks he knows why she’s reacting like this and it’s something he’s thought about all too much himself; it’s hard _ not _ to think about it when he’s literally seen River die right in front of him. He manages to detach Missy’s grip on River and pull her into his own arms. 

“No!” Missy reaches back out towards River, her voice rising in desperation. “Please don’t take her away, please, she can’t leave—”

“I think it might be best if I’m alone with her right now,” the Doctor says quietly to River. She looks confused and a bit hurt that she’s apparently the reason for Missy acting like this but she nods, standing up. “We’ll all talk about this later. Or tomorrow, if she isn’t feeling up to it today. It’ll be all right.”

“Make sure she doesn’t do anything to hurt either of you,” River says. She takes one last look at Missy and leaves the room, staying nearby in case the Doctor ends up needing her help. 

He runs his fingers along her hair and she curls into him, searching for any source of comfort that she can get. Missy doesn’t cry but now she sobs it out and the Doctor can’t help it if his own tears run down his cheeks as well. 

“I know,” he says, because falling in love with someone whose death is always meant to happen is the most painful thing he’s ever experienced, so he thinks it must be the same for Missy. “I know.”


End file.
